The Timeline Fits
by fearlessgoddess2
Summary: Sam and Dean receive an email from an old friend with worry of the supernatural in her area, sending them back to New Paltz, New York and giving Sam the shock of his life. Future AU
1. Chapter 1

**The Timeline Fits**

**Summary: ****Sam and Dean receive an email from an old friend with worry of the supernatural in her area, sending them back to New Paltz, New York and giving Sam the shock of his life.**

**Rated T for horror violence.**

**I'm going on knowledge of everything we've learned up until January 17****th****, 2009. **

**The boys killed Lilith. Though the war against monsters will never be over, 66 seals weren't broken and the world is safe from an apocalypse. With the promise that Sam will never again use his powers, the boys haven't seen Castiel or Uriel for over a month. The story starts in June of 2009.**

Chapter 1:

Dean ate another bite of his pancakes as Sam booted up his laptop. Narrowing his eyes at his brother, Dean chewed and swallowed, taking a long drink from his orange juice before he spoke.

"Dude, sure you're not hungry?" Dean asked.

"I had some coffee," Sam replied absently. "I'll be fine."

"Whatever," Dean grumbled. Sam suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, convinced that Dean couldn't comprehend not being hungry for breakfast.

Sam went into his email address on Yahoo, deleting any junk before opening the ones worth reading. "Hey, Bobby said the new shipment of silver bullets came in from Joshua," he said, glancing at Dean.

"Nice. We can pick some up the next time we drive through," Dean replied.

Sam pressed a few buttons on his keyboard as he opened the next email. Dean looked up a couple seconds later and noticed that Sam's expression was progressively getting tighter. "Sam?"

"Just a second," he murmured. Dean remained silent, taking another bite of his pancakes. A minute later, Sam spoke up, looking to Dean. "How far is it to upstate New York?" he asked.

Dean blinked. "Random. Uh…probably like eight hours. Why, we get a tip?"

Sam sighed and nodded, his expression still tight. "Yea."

"Okay. Where's this job at?" he asked, taking another sip of his juice.

Sam pursed his lips. "New Paltz."

Dean narrowed his eyes in concentration. "New Paltz…New Paltz…Where have I…?" He blinked suddenly, looking up to Sam, and his face split into a grin. "Dude! Really?"

Sam sighed again. "Yea. Really."

Dean looked momentarily confused at Sam's attitude, and then understanding dawned on his face. "Oh crap. Who was it?"

"Neighbor's kid," Sam muttered. "Sarah knew the parents and this is the first she heard details about what's going on, but this is the third in a month. There was absolutely no reasonable cause of death and overnight he was as emaciated as a kid who'd been starved for a week, though tons of people reported seeing him healthy and playing basketball the day before." He swallowed. "Kid was fourteen. His parents found him in his bedroom the next morning when he didn't come down for breakfast."

Dean stared at Sam for a few moments before he slowly put down his fork and wordlessly pushed the plate away a few inches. "Come on. We leave now we can make it by sunset."

Sam allowed himself a small smile, of appreciation, not surprise, and packed up his laptop as Dean put down money for the check.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Sarah opened the door and stared at Sam as if in shock as he heard the television faintly from the living room. "Oh my God, Sam!" she exclaimed, a smile spreading across her face. She took him in a tight embrace and he hugged her back, taking in the sweet, familiar smell of her lavender shampoo and smiling. Sarah pulled back and let out a sigh. "Wow. You look great. You too, Dean," she said, glancing to him.

Dean grinned back. "Eh, I know."

"Ah, you too," Sam replied, annoyed at himself for feeling nervous, barely registering Dean's comment.

Suddenly, the smile slipped from her face. "Oh. Um, I-I wasn't…expecting you to come so quickly," she said, absently wiping her hands on her jeans. Sam saw nervousness appear in her demeanor as well.

"I wanted to get here as soon as we could and we weren't on a job, so we just left," Sam said with a shrug. "Sorry to surprise you like this."

Sarah nodded slowly. "Yea. That's…really great of you."

Sam nodded back and paused. "Could we come in?" Sam asked, somehow feeling awkward at the request.

Sarah swallowed and glanced to her left just slightly. "Now's not really a good time," she said with a cringe.

Sam opened his mouth slightly and then closed it. "Oh," he said, his eyes widening. "Yea, that's my fault. I just looked up your new address. We should have called or—."

"Oh no, it's not a guy," she said hurriedly, realizing his assumption. "I'm just…. I've been really busy and…there's a lot of stuff going on…these days…."

"That's fine," Sam replied. "Dean and I just got here, so we'll go get settled into a motel room somewhere and we'll call you tomorrow. I've got your new number."

"Okay. That works," Sarah said with a smile.

"See you later," Sam said, nodding once. Sarah closed the door and he and Dean turned, walking down the walkway and down the driveway.

"Hey, uh, Sam?" Dean asked casually.

"Yea?"

"I'm just wondering…."

"What?"

"If you noticed the fact that the television was playing Barney and her Sedan has a car seat in it."

Sam came to an abrupt halt. "What?"

Dean motioned to the car they'd just passed. Sam gradually made his way over to the car, looking in and seeing the car seat, as well as a smattering of kid toys. Sam looked to Dean, as if he didn't comprehend what was going on, and then back to the car.

After a few seconds, Dean spoke up again. "I'm doing some rough math here, but how long ago were we here again?"

Sam's next glance to Dean was wide-eyed and full-fledged denial. "What?" he exclaimed.

"I mean you didn't mention that you guys got _that _cozy, but—."

"Dean, I didn't get her pregnant," Sam told him with a smile, going down the driveway toward the Impala. "Besides, I _think_ she would have told me."

Dean gave a grunt of acknowledgement, noticing that Sam didn't say that they hadn't slept together. "Yea, of course." He paused. "I mean she knew you for like a week, your girlfriend had been murdered six months before, and you fight monsters for a living. Why wouldn't you be her first call? You'd make father of the year in no time."

Sam froze in mid-step, slowly moving his eyes to Dean. "She wouldn't—." Sam cut himself off before he'd even finished completing the thought in his head, suddenly looking down at the ground. "No, man…. I mean…."

"Hey, at least you figured it out on your own," Dean said, tossing his keys back and forth in his hands. "Now you'll have time to work through the shock on your own instead of freaking out in front of her. I mean you gave her no time to prepare for _your _arrival. I'm assuming that's why she was so nervous. She didn't have a chance to bring the kid to a friend's house."

Sam's eyes were wide as they darted back and forth, as if looking to different thoughts rapidly. Then they went back to Sarah's front door. "Oh-ho-ho no," Dean said, taking his brother by the arm and pulling him to the car. It wasn't hard, since he was still stunned. "No, no, no, we're going to find a motel and let you work through this revelation on your own." He opened the door, guiding his brother into his seat. "Can't have you doing your stuttering, blabbering thing for something this big." He shut the door, walking around to the other side of the car.

"Besides, maybe you'll come to your senses and let her keep her little secret," Dean muttered under his breath. "No use in her knowing you found out. Nothing'll change." He got into the car, giving a glance to his brother to make sure he was remembering to breathe, before he started the car and pulled out to find the nearest motel.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm glad that reviewers like the concept of Daddy!Sam (is that already a coined term?) and that I brought Sarah back. Here's a little more Freaking-out!Sam. :)**

Chapter 3:

Dean went out to get dinner as soon as they were settled into the motel. He left Sam his laptop to do research and make sure he kept his mind off the possibility of him having a child. At least until Dean returned, which was when he planned to talk about it. That gave him some time to think about it himself and be able to answer any questions Sam might have about what the Hell he was going to do. As the big brother, he couldn't look nervous.

But when he got back to the room with a bag of burgers and fries and opened the door, he realized that that plan hadn't worked, since Sam was currently wearing a hole in the carpet. It was actually pretty funny since the room was so small he could barely take three steps before turning around to go the other way.

Dean closed the door behind himself. "You okay?" he asked, putting the bag on the table. "You look a little—."

"The timeline fits," Sam told him, continuing to pace.

"What?"

"The timeline _fits_. We were here in mid-April of 2006. Allow nine months for pregnancy, give or take a week or two, it fits—," Sam told him, motioning with his hands to emphasize his point.

"Dude," Dean started slowly, raising an eyebrow at the wide-eyed, freaked look on his brother's face. He realized quite quickly that pointing out the timeline to Sam and being nonchalant about this whole thing when he'd figured it out had been completely the wrong move. It was just that if Ben had turned out to be his son a year ago, he would have needed Sam to be the stable one, the one _not _freaking out, and he figured Sam would need the same. So he'd kept all the worry in.

But it looked like Sam wasn't following his example.

"—and that means that I have to confront her about it," Sam said.

"What?" Dean managed to ask as Sam took a moment to take a breath.

"I mean not that I'm going to be able to raise the kid, I can't stay here, I'm leaving with you after we finish this job—."

"Sam," Dean began again, starting to get a headache from watching Sam walk back and forth.

Sam didn't even stutter though. "—and of course there's no way I could do the whole family thing now. But I have to talk to her about it—."

"Sam," Dean said, slightly louder.

"—because we don't know how DNA with demon blood works, and if this kid is mine, then—."

Dean's eyes widened as he caught up with Sam's train of thought, which had definitely run off the track and was now careening off a bridge. "Sam!" he yelled.

Sam stopped abruptly, blinking at Dean. "What?" he asked.

"Sit down," he said, pointing to the bed.

"But I—."

"Sit. Down," Dean told him firmly, in his best imitation of his father's voice.

Sam sat.

Dean let out a long breath, running his hand over his face. "Jesus Christ," he muttered. He walked over and sat on the other bed, across from his brother. "Now, we're going to calm down and think about this rationally."

"But—."

"_Rationally_," Dean repeated, cutting his brother off. "And…slower."

Sam swallowed and nodded. "Okay," he whispered.

"All right. Now. You said the timeline fits. That's not great, but you guys used a rubber, right?" Dean asked.

"Yea," Sam sighed.

"Okay. That gives us a real chance that it isn't yours."

"But condoms aren't—."

"A hundred percent effective, I know. But think about it. How long were we here last time?"

Sam blinked. "Ah…like a week?"

"Right. And how long was it before you guys took a roll in the hay?"

"Ah…like—." Sam narrowed his eyes. "Dean!"

"Dude, I'm not calling her a slut, I'm just pointing out the obvious," Dean told him. "If she waited less than a week to sleep with you, then she could wait less than a week to sleep with another guy. Which means that there's a big possibility you are _not _the father."

Dean paused to let that sink in and he could almost see the stress leaving Sam's body. "Okay," he murmured.

"So…worst case scenario, the kid is yours," Dean started. Sam's face tightened. "Not the worst thing in the world."

"But—."

"Let me finish," he snapped. Sam shut his mouth. "It's not the worst thing in the world for a few reasons. For one, she didn't tell you, which was her decision. That means that she was okay with having full responsibility for the kid and okay with the kid not knowing its biological father. That means she was okay with having it at all. I don't know her, but I'm sure she realized she was pregnant way before three months."

"Uh huh," Sam said quietly.

"Also, I'm sure she took into account the fact that your life is dangerous and that that tilted the scales when she was writing the pro/con list of telling you. Plus, you shoot pool and play poker for cash, so there was very little chance of her getting child support. And of course there's the fact that you, being you, would feel obligated to come back and help raise the kid, or try to get them money, or if you couldn't do either you'd feel utterly guilty for the rest of your life because you couldn't. And she knew that." Sam was silent. "Right?"

Sam let out a breath. "Right."

"Okay. Now that we've covered all the main points here, and considered the fact that it may not even be yours, I've got one question you need to answer. And I want you to think about it before you answer me."

Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother nervously. "All right."

"If you don't confront Sarah about this, if you don't mention it, and she doesn't say anything…would you be okay not knowing if it's yours?" Dean asked softly.

Sam leaned forward on his knees, folding his hands, and stared at the ground for a few moments. Dean remained silent as his younger brother contemplated the question. Finally, Sam looked up, tentatively looking Dean in the eye, and said, "No."


	4. Chapter 4

**Glad you liked emo Sam's ramblings! :) Hope you like angsty Sam's ramblings!**

Chapter 4:

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" Dean asked, giving his brother a brief glance over.

Sam let out a breath. "I'm sure."

"Okay. I'm gonna go shoot some pool or something. Call me when you're done, whether it's in five minutes or five hours."

Sam nodded. After a brief hesitation, he got out of the Impala, closing the door behind himself, and walked up Sarah's driveway, stopping on her front porch as Dean drove off. The porch light bulb was dim, just giving him enough light to see where the doorbell was. He pressed it.

Hearing footsteps walking toward the door, he caught the end of a phone conversation. "Yea, that'd be great. Just a second." The footsteps stopped at the door and Sam saw the light in the peephole briefly go dark. "I gotta go. I'll call you right back." A few seconds later, the door opened. "Sam. I thought you were going to call?" Sarah asked, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door.

Sam nodded. "Yea. I was."

Sarah stared at him. "So…."

"I was going to wait until tomorrow and then call, but then I started freaking out," Sam admitted.

"Freaking out about what?"

"Dean pointed out a few things to me that, ah…. Well I just need to clarify something."

Sarah blinked, folding her arms, more out of apparent nervousness than attitude. "Okay," she said, meeting his gaze.

"Dean noticed…there was a car seat…in your car. And some toys. And he thought he heard Barney…playing in the background. And we put the pieces together. And I started thinking a lot of 'what-if's' and—."

"Sam," Sarah whispered, closing her eyes. She sighed and then turned away, sitting down on her porch bench, motioning for him to sit next to her. He slowly did so, swallowing hard. Sarah folded her hands on her lap. "I can't do this. Not with you right in front of me, confronting me like this. I'm…sorry, I guess."

"For what?" he murmured.

Sarah looked more uncomfortable and more anxious than Sam had ever seen her. Though really, how well did he know her? They'd been together for a week. Sure, the relationship could have gone farther, but Sam and Dean had had a lot on their plate. They _still _had a lot on their plate. And most likely, they always would.

Sarah's mouth opened and closed a few times, as if she was having trouble figuring out what words to use. "She's yours," she finally said.

Sam had a split second of not understanding what Sarah meant before it hit him like a blow to the stomach and all the air whooshed out of his lungs. His. The child was his. She was….

"She?" Sam breathed.

Sarah swallowed and nodded. "Katherine Samuel Blake. Samuel…. Thought I'd give her a little bit of her father in there."

Sam stared at Sarah for a few seconds before he faced forward, slowly sitting back in his seat. When he blinked, he realized his eyes had been tearing. He quickly wiped the tears away. "Ah…. She's…healthy?"

Sarah nodded, pointedly not looking over to Sam. "Yea. Yea, she's…perfect. Looks like her daddy."

Sam took in and let out a long breath, as if trying to release the tension from himself, but it didn't really work. "Oh boy," he murmured, rubbing his hands together. "I think I'm going to start pacing again…."

"What?"

"Nothing," Sam said. He pursed his lips as he tried to come up with something to fill the silence between them that quickly became heavy. "I'm…sorry that I wasn't—."

"No, right off the bat, Sam, I want to tell you that you have nothing to apologize for," she said firmly, finally looking back to him. Sam met her eyes and she licked her lips anxiously, as if she wanted to look away. "It was my decision to sleep with you. We were as safe as we could have been. It was my decision not to tell you when I got pregnant. And it was my decision to keep the baby. So you have nothing to apologize for."

Sam nodded. "Okay. I mean I talked with Dean. He pointed out some very obvious things, like the fact that you didn't want me knowing because you didn't want me to worry or feel guilty."

Sarah averted her gaze at that. "Yea. Whenever I say it out loud, it sounds stupid, but—."

"It's not," he said quietly. "For you to care about me so much to keep this from me, to protect me like this…. It's one of the things I liked about you. How brave you are. How much you care." Sarah was silent. "Doesn't mean I'm not pissed though," Sam told her, his voice taking on a bit of an edge. "I had every right to know that I have a daughter. You shouldn't have kept it from me."

"I know," she whispered. "I know and I'm sorry. I just…." Sarah looked over to him, tears in her eyes. "The reality is that you put your life on the line every day, in so many ways. More than anyone else out there. Policemen, firefighters, anyone in the military has nothing on your life."

"Not to mention my police record and the fact that I'm presumed dead by the FBI," he muttered.

Sarah paused. "Yea. And that. I just…. Maybe it's harsh and maybe it's unreasonable…but I didn't want my child to grow up with you as a father," she whispered. Sam closed his eyes, a tight feeling gripping his chest. "You're a wonderful person. You're kind and gentle and smart and you would put your life on the line to save either of us without a second thought. But…you say that I'm brave, but I was too scared to do it. I know that women marry policemen and watch their husbands go off to war, but…this is more than that. This is your _life_. And I was…scared that…if _you _knew she was your daughter…then…."

Sam felt the burning sensation of tears coming to his eyes and he wiped them away, trying to swallow past the lump in his throat. "You were afraid something might happen to you or her. Like…what happened to Jess."

Sarah let out a sharp breath and looked away. "I just couldn't do that. I'm sorry," she whispered, pushing back a sob.

Sam nodded slowly. "I can't blame you for that."

"In a way I wish you would," she murmured.

Sam let the seconds pass by in silence, thoughts spinning in his head, before he looked over to her. "Hey," he whispered.

Sarah sat up, pushing some hair behind her ears, and took a breath, letting it out. "Yea?"

"I'm not going to tell anyone. Not even Dean. I'll give you a call before we come over so we'll make sure he never sees her. If he does, he'll probably see the resemblance. We'll do the job here, whatever it is, and we'll leave. Now I don't have any real amount of money to give for child support, which I'm sure doesn't surprise you, but…I can manage a hundred dollars a month in a savings account for college for her."

"Sam—."

"Sarah, please, I…_need_ to do that," he told her, making it clear that he needed to feel like he wasn't completely abandoning his child. "And I'd really like it…if you sent me the occasional email about how she's doing. Put what you want in the email, that her father took off when he found out you were pregnant or whatever, I just…I'd like to know a little bit about her life."

Sarah managed a small smile, sniffling and wiping at her eyes, and nodded. "Okay."

Sam gave her a half smile in return. "Just…before I leave…can I see her?"

Sarah's smile extended into the one Sam remembered from so long ago. "Yea," she whispered. "Come on. She's in her bedroom."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Sam stood with Sarah, going inside, and she closed the door behind them. "Katie? Mommy's got a friend visiting."

Sam felt a tightness in the pit of his stomach like he'd never felt. He almost had to remind himself to breathe as he followed Sarah down the hall. A daughter. He had a daughter. And…. Sam's heart skipped a beat. There she was.

The toddler looked up from the crayons she was using, moving her attention away from the picture she was very determined to finish. If someone had asked Sam later about anything else in the room, he probably wouldn't have been able to tell them. All he saw was her.

Katie had a set of pajamas on that was covered in teddy bears. Her face was round and just the slightest bit pudgy. Shiny brown hair came down to her shoulders, damp from a recent bath. And Sam could swear that looking in her eyes was like looking in a mirror. She was so innocent. She was so beautiful.

Sarah was right. She was perfect.

"Katie, come say hi to Sam," she said with a smile.

Katie put down her crayon and pushed herself to her feet, walking slowly over to Sam with curious eyes. "Hi Sam," she said, looking up to him. Katie looked to her mother. "Sam's big."

Sam's face broke out into a full-fledged grin as Sarah bent down to pick up her daughter. "Sam's an old friend of mine. I haven't seen him in a real long time. Since before you were born."

_Give or take nine months_, Sam couldn't help thinking to himself.

Sarah leaned in toward Katie slightly. "Sam's kinda sad. Think you could give him a hug?"

Katie nodded, putting out her arms toward Sam. His breath catching in his throat, Sam swallowed and carefully took Katie from Sarah, allowing her to wrap her small arms around his neck, feeling like he was holding a china doll and worried if he held her wrong she might shatter. But she grabbed him in a hug, showing surprising strength for a child her size, and the tight feeling he'd had in his stomach suddenly melted away.

Sam closed his eyes, stubborn to hold back tears, and blinked a few times, letting out a long breath. His eyes drifted to Sarah, thick with emotion, and she nodded in a silent reply as if she knew everything he wished he could say in that moment.

Holding Katie in his arms and still feeling like he could somehow break her, Sam felt any thought of wanting to be in her life just slip away. He couldn't do it. And he knew why Sarah couldn't do it. His mother, his father, Dean, and Jess especially…. They'd all died. And he could never risk anything like that for Katie. Even knowing she had a little bit of him inside her, the need to keep her safe from his life far outweighed any need to be in her life.

And at that last thought, the tight feeling in his stomach came back. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and moved a bit toward Sarah, communicating that he had officially received a hug. Sarah took Katie in her arms, bringing her back to her crayons. "Okay, finish up your picture. Then we'll read a story and it's bedtime."

"'Kay," Katie replied. She suddenly leaned down and picked up a picture from a few she'd been working on before and walked back over to Sam. "Dis is for _you_," she stated.

Sam swallowed past that lump in his throat that seemed like it was never going to go away and he knelt down and took the picture from Katie, examining it. He looked back to her with a smile. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

Katie gave him a radiant smile in return at the compliment before going back over to her crayons and resuming her project.

Sarah went with Sam back outside to the porch as Sam carefully folded up the picture and tucked it safely in his jacket pocket. Sam sat back down on the bench and Sarah did so as well.

"She's…beautiful," Sam murmured, looking to her.

"Thanks," Sarah whispered.

Sam let out a shaky breath. "But…I don't know…if she's perfect."

Sarah suddenly looked confused. "I'm sorry?"

Sam turned to face her, pulling his leg up onto the bench and holding his ankle tightly as he stared at her. "Sarah…about two years ago…I learned something about myself."

Sarah's confusion slipped into worry. "What?" she asked, looking almost afraid of the answer.

"The story behind it isn't something I want to go into, but…okay, there's really no easy way to say this. When I was six months old…I ingested demon blood."

Sarah stared at him, not comprehending the statement. "You what?"

"A demon came into my nursery and dripped demon blood into my mouth," Sam whispered.

"A _demon_?" Sarah breathed.

"Yea."

"_W…Why?_" she whispered.

"Because years later, I would…develop abilities because of it."

Sarah stared at him. "What kind of abilities?"

"Ah…I'd get these feelings sometimes. Like something wasn't right. And I got these weird dreams. Premonitions."

"Premonitions?" Sarah repeated in disbelief.

"Yea," he whispered. "Later…as my abilities…developed…" he said, deciding to fudge on the truth a bit, "I started having premonitions when I was awake. Visions. And I was able to…exorcise demons. With my mind."

Sarah continued to stare, eyes wide. "Exorcise demons," she echoed, as if all she could do at that moment was parrot what Sam was explaining.

"Dean and I were worried that if I kept it up, I would go farther than just exorcising demons," Sam said quietly. "Even helping people like that, it was risking too much. So I don't do that anymore. And I haven't had any visions for like two years. Not since we killed the demon." Sarah blinked in surprise. "Yea, we killed it like two years ago. I just…I have…demon blood in me…and I was worried that…."

"Oh my God," Sarah breathed, letting her head fall into her hands, leaning on her knees. She concentrated on breathing for a few seconds before she looked back to Sam and sat up, pulling her fingers back through her hair. "What does that mean? For-For Katie?"

"I really don't know for sure," Sam said with a cringe. "It could mean nothing. There could be literally no repercussions because I'm her biological father. But…it could mean that she'll…develop abilities. Maybe at the same age I was, twenty-two, or maybe earlier or later. I really don't know. I have no idea if something like this has even happened before." Sarah's eyes drifted away to look out into the night and she folded her arms around herself tightly, as if to protect herself from something. "I needed to tell you."

"I know," Sarah said instantly. She looked back to Sam. "Is it any different?"

Sam blinked. "Is what different?"

"The…The blood. Is Katie's blood or her DNA or whatever. Will it be different than normal blood? Could a hospital or…whoever…could they see that something's different?"

"I don't think so," Sam told her. "Nobody's ever said anything about mine."

"Okay," she murmured, nodding. Sarah paused. "But there could be no repercussions. Nothing wrong with her."

"Yes. She could be completely normal," Sam said quietly. "I just…. Just in case…."

"Yea. I'm glad you told me. Just in case." Sarah pursed her lips. "It terrifies me that she could be different like that, that there's something I wouldn't be able to protect her from, that I wouldn't be able to deal with, but…it's not for sure. It's not a problem yet. So I can't worry about it. If I worry about something like this when it isn't even for sure, I'll go insane." She looked up to Sam. "If anything happens, you'll be my first call."

"Okay. As always, I'll keep you updated on my latest number or email address."

"Yea."

Sam paused. "That's it. If you ever need medical records for a history for her, you give me a call. But nothing sticks out in my mind as important."

"Okay." Sarah rubbed at her eyes before letting her hands fall to her lap and looked over to Sam. "I need to…put Katie to bed."

"Of course. Right." Sam stood up as Sarah did. "I'll call you tomorrow to get details on what's going on around here."

"Thank you, Sam," she whispered.

Knowing that it wasn't just for the phone call, Sam nodded. "You're welcome." Sarah turned and walked slowly into the house, closing the door, and Sam took out his phone as he walked off the porch and down the driveway, calling Dean.

"_Ya_?"

"You can come pick me up."

"_On my way_."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam got into the Impala, shutting the door, and Dean drove off as he put on his seatbelt. There was only about five seconds of silence before Dean spoke.

"Dude. So?"

"She's beautiful," Sam murmured.

"…And?"

"She's not mine."

Dean looked over to his brother. "I'd swear you look disappointed."

Sam gave Dean a tight smile. "Yea. I guess…I am a little."

The expression of sadness on Sam's face was real. It just wasn't because of what Dean thought it was, that she wasn't Sam's. It was because of the burden he'd had to place on Sarah's shoulders about the demon blood. Sam let out a silent sigh. Just when he'd thought it wasn't going to be an issue in his life anymore. He just never caught a break, and he gave himself a mental slap upside the head. He should know that he wouldn't catch a break. He should know that by now.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

_2/14/11_

…_Never again will I trust a dog around food. Though I never really trusted Bobo in the first place, so I suppose it's my fault that I slipped up. As you know, preschool on Valentine's Day means every kid gets a Valentine from everyone else. So I bought many cards for many kids and a bag full of chocolate kisses to tape to them. Katie helped, of course, and after finishing, we went to the kitchen for dinner. I must have not closed the bedroom door all the way, however, and when I noticed that Bobo was absent while I was preparing dinner, very unlike him, I went looking. Of course, when I saw him chowing down on the Valentines, eating the wrappers along with the kisses, I freaked. Dogs are allergic to chocolate, so I was convinced he was going to have some sort of horrible reaction. The vet assured me that the amount he'd consumed was not to be worried about, especially because he threw up (on the living room carpet). Consider yourself lucky you don't have a dog. Though you do have Dean to manage, so I guess that evens out. Katie was bawling though, so I ended up spending another hour taping twenty more kisses to twenty more Valentines…._

_5/24/13_

…_Katie came home today in tears. Apparently a boy on her bus has taken to teasing her. Nasty kid, I'm telling you. I called the mother, but of course she was all, "Not my boy, oh no, he's perfect." So tomorrow I'll be forced to speak to the principal. Naturally, the bus driver won't be able to do anything about it. She doesn't have the authority. So I'm going right to the source. I taught Katie some comebacks to the lines the kid normally spits out too. And I also gave her a few pointers on self-defense. It's a last resort, I told her, but better him than her…._

_3/18/15_

…_God, eight year olds are a nightmare. Katie had some friends over today, and I cannot begin to describe the mouth on this kid. She knew words I barely say if I bang my shin on the living room table. Of course, she learned them from her older brother, who's in fifth grade. Heaven knows where he learned them. It isn't my place to lecture other people's children on how to act, but I did inform the girl that they were bad words, in case she didn't know. And I mentioned to her mother that the gutter talk her daughter was spewing was not something I wanted my child to be hearing. I gave Katie some other words to use instead of curse words. She seems to be fine with that. When she becomes a teenager though, I don't know. I'm dreading those years…._

_12/15/17_

…_I can't express the pride I feel for Katie when she comes home with a good grade. It's so great to know she does well in school. She loves the praise, so I dish it out whenever possible. She's such a smart kid. The things she'll rattle off, I don't even know how she learns them. Must be all that Discovery Channel she watches. "There's no such thing as vampires, but there are vampire bats. They usually drink cattle blood though." Don't give me that face, Sam. There's no way I'm telling her about the existence of vampires and you know it…._

_7/6/19_

…_Katie has become such a fish. She loves to swim and loves swim team. I'm so glad her camp has a swim team because it gives her something to look forward to every Friday. It's a great sport and it'll keep her in shape. She's even stopped complaining about eating fruits and vegetables. She'll choose them over junk food often. Mostly because of this boy in her class who eats such healthy food. Yes, I did say boy, and yes, she does have quite a crush. Also, yes, I worry about her getting her heart broken, I always will, but I suppose I have a while to go before I worry about her getting pregnant. Although, wow, she came home the other day after a lecture in health class about some pretty intense things…._

Once Sam and Dean had solved the case in New Paltz, they'd headed off. Sam didn't say good-bye to Katie; he knew it would be too hard. But he still had the picture she'd given him so many years ago, taking a look at it any time he needed a pick-me-up.

It was nine years of occasional emails, updates on how Katie was, mixed in with random snippets of Sarah's life. Notes of everything from good grades to Katie wanting to wear make-up like Holly Simmons did to holding hands with a boy for the first time. Then Sam's worst nightmare came true.

He got a call on his cell phone that sent ice water flowing through his veins.


	7. Chapter 7

**Since this IS eleven years into the future, and I'm not psychic, I just went with what I know now. Though Sam is now 37 and Dean is 41 (I know, right?!), I did keep most mannerisms the same. But I gave them a few things that would be useful, like a GPS and satellite Internet, because in eleven years that's where we'll be, don't kid yourself. :)**

_1/22/20_

Chapter 7:

"Hey," said Dean as he walked up beside Sam, falling into a seat beside him. "I'm going cross-eyed after so long looking at microfiche. Tell me you got something."

Sam nodded slowly as he crosschecked something in two of the library books he was reading. "Maybe. See, what we were looking for was a male spirit that was following the pattern of a weeping woman, right?"

"Ya."

"So what if we'd made the assumption that—." Sam cut himself off as his cell phone buzzed. He narrowed his eyes and took it out, glancing at the caller ID, which read Sarah. "One sec," he told Dean. He stood up, opening the phone and making for the exit to talk to her in private. "Hey, what's up?"

"Mmmm, it's been too long since I've heard your voice, Sammy boy," whispered the male voice on the other end.

Sam stopped in his tracks, feeling his heart skip a beat in his chest. "Who is this?" he whispered.

"Oh don't make me tell you," the voice whined. "It's so much more fun for you to guess."

"Who is this?!" he yelled, fury taking hold. Sam felt hands firmly on his shoulders as Dean guided him quickly out of the library and away from the eyes that had instantly looked to him.

"All right, all right, I'll give you a _clue_. It's been six years, one month, one week and four days since I last saw your lovely face, Sammy."

Sam mentally scanned back through time, going from hunt to hunt, trying to find any hint of whom or what it could be. Going through hunts where they didn't kill what they'd been hunting. Trying to think of what could have gotten away from them or come back after so long. Then suddenly, he felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. "Mavet?" he managed to whisper.

"Bingo!" the demon replied. "Oh it's been too long. You know from your brother's experience how long Hell time stretches for opposed to your time, so I had to check on how long it's been. I didn't forget though. Don't think I forgot who sent me back there."

Sam felt tears sliding down his face as he tried to keep it from contorting in fear and anger. He didn't see Dean standing in front of him, wide-eyed, trying to figure out what was going on, only having the name of the demon to go on. He didn't feel his brother's hands on his shoulders, didn't hear him whispering his name harshly, trying to get him to talk to him. "Where is she?" Sam whispered.

"Who? The girl you knocked up or your daughter?"

Sam closed his eyes, unable to keep from making a desperate attempt to catch Mavet off-guard. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh Sammy, Sammy, give me a little credit, please. It's been three months since I crawled out of Hell. I did a little hunting of my own before I decided where I was going to strike. Katie's your daughter. I know that. You know that. Now that we've gotten all that denial crap out of the way, let's get down to business, shall we?" Mavet asked.

Sam caught a sob in his throat before it managed to escape and swallowed it back. "What do you want?" he asked through gnashed teeth.

"Oh, so many things. So many, many things. But what can I have? I'll settle for your suffering. You see hunters…are different from other people. They sacrifice their entire lives to mankind, to other humans, and go through so much pain to keep others safe. And that makes hunters such easy targets. Because you don't have to get to the hunter to hurt them. Even more than any other human, a hunter knows the sanctity of life and the pain of human suffering. So when you hurt someone they love…they feel it on the deepest level."

"Don't," Sam choked out, his voice shaky. "Please…don't."

"You'd be surprised how well the basement of a house and a gag stuffed in a child's mouth can muffle screams. I think that what you can come up with might be even worse than what I'm going to do," Mavet said softly. "I doubt it, but hunters are so creative. So I'll call you back in a few hours. After I've had some fun."

"No!" Sam cried as he heard the click of the demon hanging up. "Please! Mavet, please!" It took a few seconds for Sam to tear the phone away from his ear as tears continued to stream down his face. It took a few more seconds for him to look up to Dean, who he realized was yelling his name.

"Sam! Sammy! Talk to me, dude! What's going on?"

"Sarah," Sam whispered. "And Katie. Mavet has them."

Dean's face hardened and he grabbed a fistful of Sam's jacket, pulling him toward the parking lot. Getting to the car, he opened the passenger's seat and put Sam inside, shutting the door, and running around to the driver's side. He got in, started the car, and put New Paltz into the GPS, beginning the eighteen-hour drive to upstate New York. Though Dean knew a plane would be faster, and there would be no hesitation on his part to get on it for something like this, there wasn't a chance that Sam would let himself be out of contact with everyone thirty thousand feet below him.

Dean's mind spun with the information, trying to figure out a course of action, and it was about thirty seconds before Sam spoke. "Dean," he said quietly.

Dean only had to glance over to his brother and analyze his face for a moment before he pulled over to the side of the road quickly. Sam barely waited for the car to stop before he swung open the door, falling out onto his hands and knees, vomiting violently.

Dean ran around to Sam's side, holding his shoulders tightly as shudders wracked his body. The knotted feeling that Dean had in the pit of his stomach, he knew, was nothing compared to what Sam was feeling. The increasing panic as he realized that Sarah and Katie were in danger, how much danger he couldn't even imagine, and that every moment they were at Mavet's mercy was a dagger to Sam's heart.

Once Sam had expelled everything in his stomach and his throat was burning from stomach acid, he pushed himself to his feet with some help from Dean and got into the car. Dean got back in the car as well, getting a bottle of water and opening it, handing it to Sam, who took a few long gulps automatically before handing it back.

Dean started the car up again, pulling out onto the road again, and got onto the highway heading north. "Sam, you got to talk to me. What's going on? What'd he say? Something, anything."

"Katie's my daughter," Sam whispered.

Dean looked over at Sam briefly. "W—? Dude, I mean tell me something I _don't_ know."

Sam looked over to his brother, momentarily distracted and surprised. "What?" he croaked.

"I know that already. Dude, come on, I'm your brother. You can't keep something like that from me for…what, nine years? Give me a little credit."

Sam blinked and nodded, moving his eyes back to the road. He knew. Of course he knew. He was Dean. Dean knew everything. "He's there. He's at the house. I didn't talk to them, I don't even know if they're still alive, but he called me on Sarah's cell phone. And he wouldn't kill them this quickly. He'll torture them first. Torture me first." Sam's voice was monotone, limp, and horribly dark.

Dean nodded, continuing to stare at the road. "Okay." He reached over and slapped Sam upside the head, hard.

"Ow! What the Hell was that for?" Sam exclaimed, surprised.

"I need you awake and aware for this, man," Dean told him. "Mavet wants you scared. He wants you making mistakes. He wants you stupid and careless. And you can't be. You know that. Letting this weaken you is not going to help them. You need to take a deep breath, change that fear into anger, and get _smart_. Sarah is not going to be wallowing in misery. She's going to be confident that you are going to run in, save them, and kill the monster. And that's what we need to be confident in too."

Sam stared at his brother for a second before he nodded, taking in and letting out a deep breath. For what must have been the millionth time, Sam was grateful to have Dean by his side.

"Okay…" Dean mused momentarily. "Police are out. Body count would rack up before they even realized what they were dealing with, and on the off chance Mavet is still at the house, we'll need the element of surprise. You got Sarah's social?"

Sam blinked. "Ah…yea. Emergency information in case anything happened to her or Katie or something."

"Good. We'll triangulate her cell and make sure she's still at the house. Call Bobby. Tell him what's going on and ask for a review on anything we know about Mavet from the last time we did research on him. Then you go through dad's journal and call every hunter we know and trust, ask if they're any closer to New York than we are, and if they're not currently knee deep in a job, if they could help."

Sam gave a firm nod and took out his cell phone, forcing his hand not to shake as he dialed Bobby's number.

Dean stared straight ahead as he raced down the road. He wouldn't tell Sam everything was going to be okay. He wouldn't tell him that Sarah and Katie would be fine. Because he didn't know that for sure. So he just did what he could do; he drove.


	8. Chapter 8

**I didn't actually get any reviews on chapter 7 yet. :( But I'm going to post the next chapter anyway, just cause. Hope you guys like where the story goes and how I resolve it!**

Chapter 8:

Sarah woke to a throbbing pain at the back of her skull. Immediately trying to move her hands toward the pain in confusion of what it was, it wasn't long before she realized that she couldn't. That her hands were bound, as were her ankles. That there was a cloth in her mouth covered with duct tape.

And panic slid through her body like lightning.

_Katie._

Sarah's eyes flashed open to the world around her spinning. Her only thought was of her daughter. Where was she? What had happened to her? Was she safe? Was she hurt? Sarah blinked a few times, trying to concentrate and push through the pain. It took her eyes a few seconds to adjust to the lack of light, to the world around her, and to realize that the cold cement against her the side of her face meant she was lying on the basement floor, but it only took her a moment to hear the soft sob a few yards away.

Sarah let out a whimper through her nose as she closed her eyes. Katie was there. Katie was trapped like she was. She had to stay calm. Panicking herself into a frenzy would do no good, and it would make Katie feel worse. She tried to make a noise through her gag to communicate with her daughter and Katie said something back. Sarah could feel the terror from Katie as she tried desperately to struggle against her bindings, and Sarah yelled her daughter's name as loudly as she could.

Katie's struggles stopped, sensing the urgency in her mother's voice. Sarah told her daughter everything was going to be okay. She told her that she would keep her safe. Her daughter understood none of the words, but fully grasped the tone of her voice, and her heartbeat started to slow down just slightly.

It sped back up again when the two heard footsteps above their heads and the basement door opened. The light-switch flickered for a moment before it settled into a steady buzz of electricity and Sarah's eyes darted over to her daughter, who lay helpless nearby.

Katie's eyes, red from tears, pleaded with her mother to do something to help her, but Sarah could only stare at her, devastated at the situation. Footsteps echoed as someone walked down the stairs and Sarah's eyes darted to him as he started speaking.

"Took you long enough to wake up," Mavet muttered, walking into the room and sitting on a folding chair, leaning forward, forearms on his knees as he looked at Sarah. "I swear, humans get more frail every time I encounter them. One good smack to the back of the head and you're out like a light."

Sarah's eyes widened as she stared at the man before her, a different kind of fear in her now. "Oh yes, this has nothing to do with you," Mavet said, an inky blackness spreading across his eyes as he stared at Sarah. She flinched, blinking a few times, but didn't look away. "You see, Sam did me in about six years back." Mavet twisted his lips slightly. "Actually, that's inaccurate. It was actually about…seven or eight centuries ago. See, time up here in the frying pan passes differently than it does down in the fire. You might think it would grate on one's memory, all that time passing, but it does quite the opposite. With all that free time, there isn't much to think about except who sent you there."

The demonic black eyes shifted attention to Katie and he stood, walking over to her. "Sam covered his tracks very well once he'd found out Katie was his," Mavet told her, kneeling at her side. Katie made a small whimper of protest into her gag and she tried to pull back from him as he gently stroked her face with his finger. Sarah screamed obscenities at him, trying to pull fiercely at the tape that bound her.

"He really did do a good job," he said, sitting down and folding his legs under himself as he looked back to Sarah. Breathing hard, she shot bullets at him with her gaze, though he didn't flinch the least bit in return. "Just not good enough. That hunt back in '09 though…. It was some type of Shtriga, right? That's what the word on the street was. I heard they stopped the body count at five kids. I'm sure you knew that there wasn't any way you'd be safe in Sam's life. I suppose you were right. Good little hunters they are, Sam and Dean killed it and moved on after that, but as much as Sam did to protect you from himself, it wasn't enough."

Mavet let out a soft sigh. "We have many more options in Hell, but a resourceful demon like myself can work with what he has," he murmured. Sarah's frantic struggles started again as the demon reached inside its jacket and pulled out a blade. "I wish I could tell you this will hurt me more than it will hurt you, but there's nothing further from the truth," he said quietly. A small smile surfaced on his face, the evil in it chilling Sarah to the core. "No…. No, this will be the most fun I've had in a long time. In more ways than one." His finger slid slowly down the knife. "I'd like to really hear the screams, but we wouldn't want to disturb the neighbors, now would we?"

At that, Mavet gently slid the tip of the blade down Katie's tearful face before he sliced it viciously across her arm.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"Joshua's ETA is one hour," Sam told Dean, moving his cell phone away from his mouth. "Jo told me she's six hours out, but she's on her way as well. Billy's in Arizona though."

"One hour's good. What do you have on Mavet?"

"Joshua's on his way to New Paltz, but he's still on the line so I'll put him on speaker," Sam said, pushing the button on his phone and putting it in the cup holder. "Josh?"

"_Yea, go ahead._"

"Okay. I've got plenty of articles and sources giving details on him," Sam said, flashing from window to window on his laptop's satellite Internet. Sam had forced himself to focus on his research, on what he could do, rather than what he couldn't do, which was to will himself to Sarah's side. He couldn't get rid of the fearful burning in the pit of his stomach, but he could make himself concentrate on the task at hand. "Found in many cultures, though mostly Egyptian and Jewish, the name means death incarnate, also known as Mashchit, destroyer, and Malach-Adonai, Angel of the Lord."

"Yea. I remember that Angel of the Lord crap. I remember saying that was exactly what Castiel said he was the first time we bumped into each other all those years ago," Dean noted.

"I know. Anyway, Mavet's lived up to his name. The first accounts of him go back to 700 B.C. Mavet has spent millennia in Hell according to information obtained by other hunters. After wreaking havoc in Egypt for centuries, records suggest he was downstairs until the early 1100's, though it's debatable why his visit was so long. Spent decades more in Egypt and then a century or two in France. He was then brought down again in the early 1400's and resurfaced in the 1600's."

"He's big on religious decimation, especially recently, and according to reliable sources was one of the main instigators of much of the destruction in England in the 1600's of churches, temples, mosks, anything that represented something people considered holy. That includes one of his bigger fish, the Great Fire of London, which he managed to keep going for five days. It destroyed over 13,200 houses, nearly 90 churches, and 4 prisons. They can only guess at the number of casualties. The first records of him in America were in the late 1800's."

"Is our old pal Solomon gonna help us on this one?" Dean asked.

"Without a doubt, it'll work just like last time. Mavet's history in Egypt, especially the involvement in the rule by Pharaohs, defines a lot of what he is and what limits he has. Though it was created in the late 1500's, the teachings in the Goetia in the Lesser Key of Solomon go back to sorcerers and demonologists in Europe in B.C. Six years in Hell, or however long it was, isn't going to change how Mavet is affected by the modification of the devils trap we created. _But _we aren't going to have much of a chance to set anything up since it's a more of a coup de main rather than a premeditated attack. We don't have time to plan much."

"All right. Now you said iron and salt won't do much but holy water will, right?" Dean asked.

"I did, and I checked up on that. The reason is that holy water is blessed by the church and—."

"What if it's just blessed by us?" Dean asked, glancing over to him.

"Won't be that effective," Sam told him. "We'll use the stash we got in Phoenix. Joshua, how are you on church-blessed holy water?"

"_I'm good. But church-blessed stuff, does that mean consecrated iron rounds will work?_" Joshua asked.

"That was my next bullet point. Yes. The reason holy water works is because it's blessed by the church. Salt _can _work if it's blessed by the church and so can iron."

"Sam and I are solid on church-blessed consecrated rounds," Dean said to Joshua, "although we're gonna be getting there after most of the action. When we hang up, we'll call Jo and make sure she's as informed as we are on this."

"_Anything you guys can tell me about your last run in with this thing?_" Joshua asked.

"Well, Mavet is less about confrontation and more about the bottom line of destruction," Sam said. "A blitzkrieg-style attack, going in under the radar, guerilla warfare, whatever works best with the least effort is what he'll go with."

"_Good to know. You get any new info let me know. I'm going as fast as I can without risking my car flipping over and I've got a wide-eyed panic face and a pregnant wife in the hospital in labor ready to shoot at any cop that pulls me over for speeding._"

Sam nodded once. "Thanks. Give me a call if you get there before we call you."

"_You got it._"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam stopped in mid-keystroke on his laptop as the phone rang. He picked it up and froze. Dean did a double take at Sam's expression and forced himself to keep a majority of his attention on the road so they didn't get in an accident, which would most definitely not help their situation.

Sam's hand started shaking again as he pressed the phone to his ear. His mouth opened as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't force out words, not to mention that he had no idea what to say.

"_Sam. Are you there?_" asked the smooth voice on the other end.

"Yea," he whispered.

"_We're having a lot of fun without you. When will you be arriving at the party?_"

Sam's stomach heaved and he clamped down on his anxiety, doing what Dean had told him to do, and propelled his fear into anger. "I swear to God, I'm going to rip you apart you disgusting, revolting animal," he hissed. "You're going to suffer, I swear it."

"_Not to switch the attention off me, as much as I love it, but why don't I put Sarah on the phone?_" he asked, his voice eerily composed. Sam's teeth gnashed together so hard he thought they would crack as he heard the snap of duct tape. "_Talk to Sam, Sarah. Tell him how you two are doing._"

There was a short pause and the sound of hitched breath for a moment. "_I want you to kill him, Sam,_" Sarah whispered weakly. Sam's eyes shut tight as tears started to form. "_You hurt him worse than you've ever hurt _anything—_._" Sarah's voice cut off and she let out a choked scream that was quickly muffled.

"Stop!" Sam cried desperately. "Stop it!"

"_I really hope you join us soon,_" Mavet whispered. "_I'd love to have you here for this._"

"You will rot in Hell you bastard!" Sam screamed. He realized he was screaming into a dead line and his hand fell into his lap, dropping the phone. With a pained sob, he went limp against the car door, the cold window against his forehead as his strength left his body. Tears slipped down his face and Dean felt his own eyes watering at his brother's pain.

"We'll get him, Sam. I promise you we'll get him."

Sam didn't reply. Tired, empty eyes stared out his window at the trees whizzing by and he let out a barely discernable grunt of acknowledgement.


	10. Chapter 10

**I got a reeeally long, reeeally great review tonight, which totally made my day, so I decided to post another chapter! :) I think you'll like how this goes….**

Chapter 10:

Time had no meaning anymore.

There were no minutes, no seconds, no sense of time at all, only the pain. The screams from her daughter and the cries of pain that came from deep inside Sarah herself lasted forever. Mavet had started with the blade, digging through skin, tissue, and down to bone, and then, his voice frighteningly unemotional, explained with detail the increasing severity of burn injuries on a human body before he took out a lighter.

Sarah desperately tried to keep her pain inside, to keep her daughter from hearing the agony in her screams. But by the time the demon called Sam, Sarah had slipped into unconsciousness several times and struggled so hard against her bindings that she could barely feel her hands or feet anymore.

"Do you think it's time we called Sam?" the soft voice asked. The sharp edge of vengeance in his tone caused Sarah to blink a few times, bringing the basement into a clearer focus. Sarah's eyes glared murderously at him as he wiped the blood from his hands. "Think it's time we share your screams with him?"

Sarah's fear had disappeared into the pain eventually. All that was left was rage. Toward the demon before her, toward God, and, admittedly, toward Sam. So when the demon called Sam, she knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Sam. Are you there...? We're having a lot of fun without you. When will you be arriving at the party?" He paused, most likely to listen to Sam's fury. "Not to switch the attention off me, as much as I love it, but why don't I put Sarah on the phone?" The tape was ripped from her mouth and she coughed the cloth out of her mouth, taking deep breaths of air. "Talk to Sam, Sarah. Tell him how you two are doing."

Her voice hoarse and her body devoid of strength, Sarah swallowed to try to enable herself to talk. "I want you to kill him, Sam," she whispered. "You hurt him worse than you've ever hurt anything—." The blade dug harshly into her leg and she cried out, her voice muffled by the cloth the demon quickly shoved back in her mouth and covered with the duct tape.

Sarah closed her eyes, her head falling back to the cold cement floor as she breathed harsh breaths through her nose.

"_Stop_!" she heard Sam scream. "_Stop it_!"

"I really hope you join us soon," Mavet whispered. "I'd love to have you here for this."

Her cell phone closed with a snap and Sarah barely had the strength to flinch as a hand slid gently down her bloody arm. Sarah finally brought her eyes up to meet her daughter's, something she hadn't been brave enough to do after mere minutes of hearing her screams.

Katie blinked tiredly at her mother, fresh tears slipping down to the floor, and Sarah tried to communicate her remorse. She wished she'd never allowed this to happen. Never told a soul about Sam being Katie's biological father. Never slept with Sam. Even wishing she'd aborted Katie or at least put her up for adoption, wishing for anything to stop this pain that her daughter had to endure.

"You think it's time to end it yet?" the demon asked. "I know that Sam and Dean must have called other hunters, so even if the two of them are still states away, rescuers are coming. And that would just make things so much more complicated…. Though I could take another road. Dump this meat suit somewhere upstairs and…use you as a host."

Sarah's eyes flashed to him, too exhausted to do anything but plead _no_.

"Yes, that would be fun, wouldn't it? You torturing your own daughter. I've done it before. A few times. Heard the silent screams echoing in the head of the possessed, desperate to be back in control. And then, of course, when the hunters get here, they'll be caught off-guard." He rose slowly to his feet. "The fear is back now, isn't it? I know; it disappears after a while. There's only pain. The dread of things to come is something that only comes when it stops."

Sarah's gaze then shot back to Katie, as Mavet walked over and crouched beside her, pleading with her daughter to forgive her for things she couldn't control. Willing all her strength to her to survive until help arrived. "You think your mommy would never hurt you…right?" he whispered, gently cupping her face in his hand. "She would never do to you what I'm doing. No matter how she was coerced or bribed or tortured, she would never hurt you. Do you believe that?" Katie's half-open eyes stared up at him, empty of emotion. "Well, you're wrong."

And then Sarah saw the flash of anger in her daughter's eyes like nothing she'd ever seen.

Katie's enraged eyes glowered at the possessed man as the young girl felt hate like she'd never imagined filling her body. As she finally understood what people meant when they said they saw red. It consumed her as she thought of nothing but killing him. Destroying the thing that had taken every bit of innocence she had and ripped it to pieces.

Feeling the power brewing deep in her chest, Katie hardly noticed when the man's expression changed to one of confusion and he stood up, taking a step back from her, his eyes widening. When the knife he held slipped from his hold and he grasped his throat with both hands. When his body stumbled back slightly and he shuddered. When he coughed harshly and a burst of black smoke was expelled from his mouth. When his shocked face turned to meet Katie's infuriated eyes.

The demon hacked up more smoke as he dropped to his knees, clutching his throat as if he could somehow keep his essence from being expelled. But the smoke continued to pour from his mouth like a dark fog formed from dry ice, floating down to the ground and collecting around him. And as his eyes lost their inky blackness and the body collapsed limply to the ground, the smoke dissolved into nothing, leaving a scorched circle on the ground where it disappeared.

Sarah could do nothing but stare in astonishment at the body before her. She blinked slowly and it took a few seconds before she shifted her gaze to her daughter.

Her heart seemed to skip a beat as Sarah saw her daughter's unconscious figure lying on the ground, blood dripping from her eyes. Sarah quickly looked down to the blade that the demon had dropped and she forced herself past the harsh pain that resonated through her as she moved along the ground toward it.

After a few seconds of making sure her fingers still moved, Sarah rolled over, grasping it in her hand, and then rolled back onto her stomach. Shifting her grip, Sarah gradually slid it against the tape, the sharp edge cutting through within a short amount of time, and as soon as her hands were free she brought them around to her sides and rolled over onto her back. Ripping the tape off her face and coughing out the cloth, she sat up and quickly cut the bindings on her ankles.

Taking the tape off of her ankles, Sarah didn't take even a moment to gather herself before she fumbled along the ground over to her daughter, her breath rough in her throat. "Katie," she rasped. She tried to swallow. "Katie, baby," she sobbed, reaching her daughter. Though she was convinced the demon was dead, she shifted her position so she could still see the man it had possessed, afraid to be caught off-guard. She quickly took the tape off of her daughter's mouth and the gag out before she shakily checked Katie's pulse. Sarah let out a sob of relief as she felt it beating solidly, if a bit slowly.

After cutting the tape off of Katie's wrists and ankles, Sarah brought Katie onto her lap, cradling her in her arms. Sarah tried to breathe through she shakes slipping through her body, knowing that they were the beginnings of her going into shock, and wiped the bloody tears from the young girl's face as tears of own formed. "Katie, honey, it's all over," she murmured, rocking her back and forth. "You're okay. You're safe. Please baby, please wake up."

Katie stirred slightly and her eyes fluttered open. "Mommy?" she whispered slowly.

"It's over," Sarah choked out. "You're okay." She closed her eyes, bringing her daughter tightly against her chest. "We're okay."


	11. Chapter 11

**I got another really great review! :) Thanks guys!**

Chapter 11:

Sam was terrified to answer the phone when it identified Sarah on caller ID once more. "Yea?" he forced out.

"_Sam,_" Sarah whispered. "_It's dead._"

Sam's heart seemed to stutter in his chest. "What?" he asked, almost confused.

"_I-I think it was Katie,_" she whispered. "_She was staring at it…so angry…and it started coughing up this…black smoke. And then the smoke disappeared. And there's this burn mark on the cement. Katie's eyes were bleeding. But she's okay. We're…okay. Alive, at least. The man…the host, I guess…he's dead._"

Sam's mind spun. The first thoughts he had were, _tricks, lies, giving me hope, then it'll be taken away_. And then he realized something. No one and nothing had ever witnessed him exorcise something, had seen the entire thing happen, aside from Ruby or Dean, or maybe the angels, and had lived to talk about it. The demons coughing up black smoke and it leaving a scorch mark on the ground was something he'd never described to anyone.

"_You think it's in me…don't you?_" she asked quietly at his hesitation.

"I-I just…" Sam started.

"_I know. I know. It said you were far away, but other hunters were coming. I won't ask if that's true because if you think I'm possessed then you won't tell me the truth. But I need to take us to the hospital and once you get here you can do whatever it is you need to do to see if I'm possessed. My next call is to 911. If I stab him in the chest, in the heart, would it look like that's what killed him? Would they buy that?_"

Sam instantly knew from experience that the man wouldn't bleed enough after his death to make it look like that was what killed him because the heart stopped pumping after death. But if she did stab him in the heart, that would stop it instantly. He wasted no time. "Right now, Sarah. Stab him right in his heart right now. Aim carefully, through his shirt, through his ribs, a clean strike, and leave it in his chest."

"_Okay,_" she whispered. Sam cringed at the sound he recognized as a blade cutting straight into a chest. Sarah let out a harsh breath as she fell back into a sitting position. "_Okay. Okay,_" she repeated.

"Keep someone around you at all times in the hospital and don't let Katie out of your sight," Sam told her instinctively. "The man who'll come to the hospital is named Joshua. He's a hunter. Your most basic test for possession is saying the word Christo. A person's eyes will turn black if they're possessed."

"_Okay. I-I need to go, Sam._"

"I'm so sorry," Sam choked out, the only other thing he could think to say. It sounded completely meaningless.

Sarah didn't reply. Sam just heard the click of her hanging up echoing in his ear. He lowered the phone from his ear as Dean snapped at him.

"What the Hell's going on?"

"That was Sarah. It's gone. Katie exorcised it. Like…like I can."

Dean stared at Sam in disbelief, sparing an occasional glance to the road to prevent a crash. "Was it Sarah?" he asked, straightforward.

"I-I think so," he said quietly. "The way she described what happened…was exactly the way it happens. You and Ruby…and anyone upstairs…are the only ones who know. She's calling 911. They're both going to the hospital," he said with a noticeable grimace at the complete understanding of what that meant. "She said I can go there and do…whatever it is I do to see if she's possessed."

Dean let out a long breath, twisting his hands on the steering wheel. "Call Joshua. Tell him everything you just told me. We've still got a ways to go 'til we get there, but he can go straight to the hospital and test for possession."

Sam nodded and paused briefly before dialing Joshua's number.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

"I can't," Sam whispered, his voice cracking as he stared at his hands in his lap. His fists were tight, forming half-moon patterns in his palms.

Dean sighed as he sat back down in the driver's seat. "Dude, I just drove seventeen hours to get your ass here. Don't tell me that you can't put your guilt aside for five minutes to—."

"Dean," Sam growled at him, the anger reverberating through him. "I just…." He let out a long breath, closing his eyes. "I don't want to upset her. She's been through enough in the past day. Doesn't need me there as a reminder of why it happened. Joshua and Jo are there now and…and I trust you to do whatever you have to to make sure she's safe again."

Dean stared at his brother for a few more seconds before he wordlessly got out of the car, shutting the door, and walked toward the hospital.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_I don't know who he was. The last thing I remember was being in the kitchen at the sink doing dishes and it all goes black. Then I woke up in the basement._

Sarah lay on her hospital bed, Katie's bed up next to hers so she could hold her hand. She stared at her daughter, who was out with the help of sleep meds. Sarah herself had let her body keep itself awake with adrenaline until the medics arrived and she had said _Christo_ in front of each of them. Then she'd let herself collapse from exhaustion, letting them take the lead. But she didn't let Katie leave her sight.

Joshua sat in the corner facing the door, and seemed to be just watching it. It looked like he was thinking about something to keep himself from going insane from boredom, but his awareness never faltered. Jo sat on the floor, her back against the wall, and Sarah occasionally saw her hand start to twitch slightly, flipping an invisible object back and forth, as if it was used to a motion that helped her relax.

_I, ah…. I don't know how long it was, but…I managed to get a tear in the tape…on my wrists…with my fingernails. I just kept digging at it and eventually…it came apart. I waited until he was facing away from me and…I kicked at him with both feet as hard as I could. He stumbled, dropped the knife and I…grabbed it…and I shoved it…at him._

Sarah didn't bother telling Katie to not mention any of the demonic stuff. As long as Sarah's story made sense, the police would assume that Katie was traumatized and had created a story to twist what had really happened or had had hallucinations. But just because Sarah didn't tell anyone about the demon, didn't mean she didn't say Christo every chance she got. So far she'd seen no black eyes in the hospital, including Joshua and Jo.

_I-I don't know where it came from. I mean I rarely go down to the basement unless I need to reset the circuits or get something out of storage. For all I know the scorch mark was there when we bought the house. I just…. My cousin, Joshua, is on his way here. I called him. I just had to hear Josh's voice…. And I'm sure he called my good friends, Sam and Dean. But Josh is closer, so he'll get here sooner…. Just…when they get here…please let them in to see me._

Joshua's and Jo's stances shifted just the slightest bit at the knock on the door. After watching them for the past hour, Sarah saw the minute visible changes in demeanor, but then saw them shift back to normal as Joshua nodded to whomever he saw through the glass pane in the door. The door slowly swung open and Dean walked inside.

"Hey. Christo?" Dean asked, watching the reactions of the two hunters with well-trained eyes.

"Yea, Christo, holy water, whole deal. Sarah's clean," he replied as the door slowly closed behind Dean. "They both are."

Dean gave him a nod and turned to Sarah. She saw the pain of regret in his eyes, the twitch of his eyebrows over the bridge of his nose and the tightening of the muscles in his jaw as his eyes landed on her and her daughter. "Hey," he said softly as he came over to her side. "Glad you're okay."

Sarah gave him a tight smile. "Me too."

"Sam, ah…told me what happened."

Sarah looked to Joshua and Jo anxiously and Dean moved his gaze to meet theirs, asking silently if they could have some time alone. Joshua gave a brief, understanding nod and he left with Jo, closing the door behind them. Sarah turned back to Dean, swallowing. "Where is Sam?" she whispered.

Dean raised an eyebrow slightly and gave a small shrug. "Twiddling his thumbs in the car. Gave me some bullshit about how he didn't want to upset you with the reason you're here. Said he trusted me to keep you safe."

Sarah nodded slowly. "Can I have your cell phone please?" she whispered.

Dean took his hand out of his jacket pocket, his cell phone already in it, and gave it to Sarah. She slowly raised her arm and pressed the appropriate buttons, moving the phone to her ear as it rang.

"_Dean, look, I don't_—."

"Sam."

There was a painful hesitation on the other end of the line. "_Sarah…I-I just…I wasn't sure if…_."

"Please. Come inside."

Sam let out a long breath. "_Okay_," he murmured. Sarah held out the phone to Dean, who ended the call and shoved the phone back in his pocket.

Dean swallowed hard and he let out a long breath. "You remember the first time you confronted Sam about what he and I were doing in New Paltz?"

Sarah narrowed her eyes curiously, as if trying to remember. "Ah…kind of. I was all…stubborn about coming with you on your ghost hunt. What, is this your way of saying I told you so?"

Dean closed his eyes and shook his head, opening them at his feet and looking back to her. "No, Sarah. You know what I said to Sam after you left the room?"

Sarah blinked. "No."

"I said… 'Marry that girl.'" He gave her a meek excuse for a smile. "You are…the strongest woman I've ever met," he whispered. "Not the most naïve or something…and not…not just the bravest. The strongest." Sarah stared at him, and Dean wasn't sure if it was because she didn't believe him or because she wasn't sure what to say. Dean shifted his gaze to Katie. "Did she say anything?" he asked quietly. "After?"

"She's just been satisfied with having her hand in mine," Sarah whispered, rubbing her thumb across the top of Katie's hand as she looked over to her. "Been sleeping for hours." She looked back to Dean. "Those two hunters. I didn't want them here for this, but could I trust them with Katie's secret?"

"Yea," he said. "Doesn't mean they have to know though."

"Okay." Sarah paused. "I want you to put up…every protective symbol…every defense…on my house. I want to know whatever it is that you and Sam know that could have prevented this. If my house has to look like it was graffitied by the Mansons and people think I'm a paranoid schizophrenic, I don't care. I want us safe. I want her safe."

Dean nodded once. "We can do that. I'll ah…I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure you're safe at home. You deserve at least that. I mean really, you deserve a lot more, but…."

"I'll take what I can get," Sarah told him.

Dean nodded and his eyes drifted to the left for a moment. "It fades. After a while."

"What does?"

"The fear," he said quietly. Dean's eyes looked back to Sarah's tight face. "The fear of the pain. Of thinking that it isn't over. That you somehow just passed out, that you're hallucinating, that any second now you're going to wake up back in that…basement and he's going to be there. You'll pull through this. You'll get stronger and you'll fight through it."

Sarah felt a surge of residual fury. "Don't spout textbook psychology nonsense at me," she whispered through a hitch in her voice.

"It's not—." Dean closed his eyes briefly. "Look…. Something happened to me almost ten years ago. Sam and I have gotten to that point where we can talk about it like we're discussing a bad dream I had. It'll, ah…it'll never go away, though. It's always there. It's been almost one decade since I got sprung, but I was down there for four, so I'd think it would take longer. So I still get the occasional nightmare."

"Dean?" Sarah whispered as he paused.

Dean cleared his throat. "I died," he told her. "And because of a deal I made with a demon, my soul went to Hell." Dean saw the expression on Sarah's face changed from being convinced she'd misunderstood him to the dawn of understanding.

"You…."

"Yea," he whispered. "I can't, ah…." Dean ran a hand over his face and let out a long breath. "I'm not gonna minimize what you went through and I'm not gonna bitch about me. But those hours you spent down in that basement…they mighta changed you, hardened you, and you might want to fill the entire basement with cement and seal off that part of you, but…don't lock her out," he said softly, looking to Katie briefly. "You guys'll need to talk about it eventually. And I don't just mean talk about the psychic exorcism she pulled off. That's gonna be the easy part."

Sarah swallowed and nodded once. "I know what you mean."

Dean sighed softly. "And just so I can see how far out of my comfort zone I can get…let me make sure you remember something else. She's the best thing you've got going for you right now. And she was right there with you the whole time. Sooner or later…probably later, she's gonna need to break down about what happened."

He hesitated. "But this kind of fear…it feeds on itself. It'll feed on _you_ and, if you let it, it'll feed on _her_. And you need to remember that, as much as you learn about this stuff, no matter how much graffiti you cover the walls of your house with, it's just like anything else in this world; you can't keep yourself totally safe from it. As much as you prepare yourself, as much as you prepare Katie, making sure she's ready for whatever evil that you're terrified is going to try to rip your lives apart again…you can't let it define your life. Cause living in fear isn't living. It's just…existing."

Sarah stared Dean in the eye for a few moments before she nodded again. "Okay."

Averting his gaze, Dean silently walked around the beds, taking a seat in the chair that Joshua had vacated. There was a knock on the door a minute or so later and Sam slowly opened it, walking inside. He shut the door behind him, forcing himself to look to Sarah, shifting his gaze over the wounds she'd endured up to her eyes.

"Well…you look almost as shitty as I feel," she whispered, blinking slowly at him. Dean's eyes drifted over to his younger brother and he had to agree that Sam did look pretty damn bad.

Sarah raised her arm slightly, resting it on the bars on the side of the bed, holding out her hand to Sam. He walked over, tears in his eyes, and carefully took her hand, leaning in and cupping her face in his other hand as he rested his forehead against hers.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

The two spent a good minute letting tears stream down their faces, Sarah sobbing and Sam trying not to choke on the knot in his throat. After a while, Sam drew away from her, wiping the tears carefully from her scarred face.

"Dude, hey," Dean said softly from beside him. He placed the folding chair behind Sam and Sam gradually lowered himself down onto it, not letting go of Sarah's hand.

"You…You're gonna be okay?" Sam asked quietly. "And Katie?"

Sarah nodded, understanding that the question was purely asking if her body had survived what happened. "Yea. They thought I was sleeping and I overheard the doctors talking…. One phrase they used was that he was…very careful not to kill us."

Sam closed his eyes and then blinked a few times, wiping away the tears that had fallen. He couldn't figure out what he could say after that that wouldn't sound ridiculous.

"We need to talk about is the fact that someone's growing up to be like their daddy," Dean said quietly.

Sam sniffled once and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before nodding. "Yea. Yea, I know." He briefly glanced up to his brother, appreciating the tone in his voice that he'd almost describe as gentle, which was not an attitude that Dean Winchester was famous for. Sam looked over to Sarah, asking the silent question.

"She was terrified," Sarah whispered. "So completely…. It said…It said that it was going to possess me…and hurt her…and…." Sarah closed her eyes and took in a deep, shuddering breath and let it out. Sam swallowed, his right hand holding Sarah's carefully, but his left so tight that he could feel the pins and needles starting up. "She just got so enraged…at what it had done…to her…to me…and she got this…frighteningly angry look in her eyes and…."

"Her eyes started bleeding," Sarah whispered, looking back to Sam. "They thought it was a result of trauma-induced stress and did a couple of tests, but they said everything's fine. Is there something they might not know?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't think so. I'd…get a nosebleed if I pushed too hard. That's probably what happened. And if they said they didn't see anything physically wrong with her eyes or the surrounding tissue, then I'm sure she'll be fine."

Sarah nodded. "Okay." She hesitated. "What can I tell her? When she asks me what happened? Why it happened? What do I tell her when she asks me if this could happen again?"

Sam pursed his lips and swallowed. "Look. Along with the built-in wall of denial any person can put up when something doesn't make sense, when it can't be defined by science or even what's in the bible, the things that are out there _do _try to stay under the radar. The less noticeable they are, the more havoc they can wreak. And the reason we're called hunters is because that's what we do, we _hunt_ for these things. We need to find them, they are not that common, and we couldn't be hunters if we stayed in one place and lived our lives. We go _looking_ for trouble."

"So chances are that as long as you two don't attract any attention, you'll be fine. This will never happen again. So she won't even get the opportunity to use her ability again. What would get more complicated is if these abilities developed even further. I told you a long time ago that other kids developed telekinesis or telepathy, for example. But like you said before, we'll deal with that when we have to. If we have to."

"But…you asked me what you can say to her when she asks you what happened. And as horrible as it sounds, you have to tell her the truth. For one thing, you can't protect her from what's already happened. And also, because if there's one thing that can destroy her right now, it's the concept that some of what happened…didn't actually happen. Especially at her age, to get confused about something like this, to think that she's remembering things wrong, is going to terrify her even more. She won't know how to trust that anything that happened to her was real. She won't be able to differentiate. And then she'll have doubts about a lot more. Like the fear she felt. If she could make up something like that…remember something like that when it didn't actually happen…."

Sam swallowed as Sarah remained silent, waiting for him to continue. "You can only tell her the truth. At this point, if she can come up with a question about what happened, she deserves to know the answer for the same reason you deserve to know the answers to questions you have. She needs to know that she can still trust someone. And to know that there are things she can do to keep herself safe. Like I'm sure you're going to need to. To learn as much about what's out there to keep yourself as safe as possible. Because even though it looked human, sounded human…humans are only that. They're mortal. They can be hurt. They can be killed. And everyone knows how. But not everyone knows how to kill…anything else."


	14. Chapter 14

**Just so you know, if you don't remember the last date for the chapters, this is about a month after the incident.**

_2/25/20_

Chapter 14:

Sam walked into Katie's room, rubbing his hands together anxiously, where she sat, legs folded under her, sketching with a pencil. She looked up as he entered, putting down her pencil, prepared to listen. His eyes landed on her desk chair briefly, but then moved on, deciding that it was too small and sitting in it ran the risk of breaking it. He instead lowered himself into the beanbag chair in the corner, all the air catching on the sides and hissing out with a sigh. He tried to settle into it, moving around, but it curved his back annoyingly and he couldn't seem to find a position he'd be able to bear for more than five seconds.

"Maybe you should sit on the floor," Katie spoke up quietly.

Sam looked up and blinked at her. "Good idea," he replied. He nodded once and shifted himself out of the beanbag and onto the floor. Katie got up off the bed and sat down on the floor a few feet from him. "Oh you can stay on the bed—."

"You're like _Michael Jordon_ tall. It's weird to look down at you all of a sudden," she told him, crossing her legs under her. Sam nodded slowly and his eyes drifted to the left slightly. "Mom said you wanted to talk to me about something. That's why you're here."

Sam looked back to her. "Yea. She said you'd, ah…you were talking again. She hadn't wanted to get into this stuff before you did."

"I know," Katie murmured. "She said right off the bat that that was something she wanted me to talk to you about cause she doesn't know what to say. We…talked about everything else."

Sam swallowed, folding his hands in his lap. "Honestly…I don't know how to begin this conversation. So I'll just jump right in. Despite the fact that you and your mom didn't talk about it, she did reassure you that what you remembered really did happen. And she explained what it was that happened. What exactly did she say?"

"I exorcised the demon with my mind because I have demon blood in me because you're my biological father."

Sam stared at Katie, as if unsure of how to respond to the complete, blunt truth. "Yea. Yea, that's right."

"You can do it too?"

Sam nodded once. "Yup. But, ah…but I don't. The last time I did it was two years ago. And in the past ten years I've only done it three times. Only when there was absolutely no other option."

"Why?" Katie asked, eyes narrowed in confusion. "You…help people."

"For a couple reasons," Sam said quietly. "One, because it scared my brother. He thought that me using my abilities was bad because of how I got them. The demon blood. And also I got some pretty harsh orders from someone not to use them. That's a whole other story. But…the main reason was…me. It was my decision in the end. And…I think you know why."

Katie stared back at him. "Why?"

"How did you feel…when you did it?"

"Angry," she spoke, the word immediately on her lips. "I hated him. I wanted him to die. I wanted him to suffer."

"Okay," Sam murmured. "That's how you felt before you did it. That's what helped you to do it. But I want to know…how did you feel _while _you did it?"

A crease appeared over the bridge of Katie's nose as her eyebrows came together. "What?"

"How did using your ability make you feel?" Sam asked.

Katie swallowed. The look on Sam's face was gentle and a bit sad. Mom had told her that Sam was her father, that he was a good man, and that she should tell him the truth. That he would understand anything. "It made me feel…powerful."

The expression on Sam's face didn't change, as if he'd expected that reply. He nodded once. "All that hate you felt, all that anger, that's what helped you tap into it. But there's a reason for that. It's because that's what the powers are born out of. Anger. And if you keep using your power, eventually the line between you and your anger is going to blur. And you'll start to change. And you won't be the same girl anymore. You're a good person, Katie, and so am I, but when we're given something like this and we use it, when we build on it, we start to change. It's your decision. I'm not going to tell you that you can't use your power. I'm just warning you that the price you have to pay isn't something you'll want to pay. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Katie hesitated, then looked down to her hands and nodded. "Yea," she whispered. "I do."


	15. Chapter 15

**This is the last chapter guys! Hope you've enjoyed the story! :)**

_5/16/27_

Chapter 15:

_Apparently John Winchester had a journal._

_That's what mom tells me anyway. Rumor has it that it's with former hunter Bobby Singer, AKA Grimm. If I'm lucky, when I head over to South Dakota to learn as much crap as I can from him, I'll be able to get my hands on it and memorize every word. Sam and Dean Winchester are names that reverberate through the hunting community, and growing up in the life like they did isn't possible without learning a lot. But I wasn't able to learn much from them personally._

_I can count the number of times I hung out with Sam and Dean on one hand, and most of it was in the months after Mavet. It's not just cause hunting had them going through gas like water and they were rarely able to visit, but cause after what happened to me and mom, Sam could barely face her. He could barely face me. I could see it in his eyes; he felt a dagger of guilt every time he saw my scars. I've got the scars of what happened staring me in the mirror every day and even over eight years later, I still get nightmares. But then I wake up from those nightmares. And unlike when I'm asleep, when I'm awake I can fight them back. So that's what I do. Call it remedial therapy._

_Actual therapy for a kid who's been attacked by something supernatural is hard to come by. The whole concept of mental health is that all that shit doesn't exist. So what happens when it does exist and a kid has to deal with it? I guess it can go one of two ways: the parents believe the kid, or they don't. I didn't have that problem though. So at least I didn't have my mother sending me to a psychologist to find out why I thought the man that had tortured me was a _literal _demon. Instead my mother told me the truth. And for that I owe her my life._

_School was hard, especially at first. Teachers have one mode for a traumatized student: pity-mode. Other students had several modes: pity-mode, bully-mode, don't-make-eye-contact-she's-crazy-mode, and in some rare cases there was normal-mode. I was lucky enough to find another girl my age that kept a steady pace in normal-mode. My best friend through high school graduation, Jen was my rock at school. After I was discharged from the hospital and spent a month at home recovering and then went back to school, when Jen saw me sitting alone at a lunch table, she came over to sit with me. When she asked me questions and I didn't say anything in return, only stared at her, swallowing occasionally and blinking, the conversation went as follows:_

"_You get what I'm asking you?"_

_Nod._

"_You just don't like to talk?"_

_Nod._

"_That could work out, because my mom says I get so hyper and I talk so much sometimes she thinks there's two of me."_

_When I started talking again a few weeks later, answering a yes or no question out loud instead of shaking my head, Jen looked over to me, blinked, and then continued talking. Thinking back on it, I don't really know if she understood that what I'd gone through made me retreat into myself or if it was just something about me. If it was just, "That's Katie. She doesn't talk."_

_When I once asked her if I was ugly, with the true wisdom of a twelve-year-old, she told me that ugly is a stupid word, as is the word beautiful. That there is no such thing, and that liposuction and boob jobs prove that. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' in the words of a 6__th__ grader. _

_So yea, when Jen asked if it really was a demon that did it to me, I did her the best favor I could; I lied. I told her that no, it was just a regular guy and what she'd heard from the other kids were just ridiculous rumors. I lied for one reason: she would have believed me. And I didn't want to do that to her. That helped me get past a lot of it, the fact that even after something like that I could be strong enough to protect my friend. So I must be strong enough to do other things too._

_So yea. Journal. Figured I could use an official one, since the binder I filled up with all the shit I've learned over the years will be hard to stick in a duffle, much less a jacket pocket. This isn't it though. This is the last journal I'll be writing in that sounds more like a fiction novel than a grimoire. For my actual journal, I'll shorthand the cliff notes of my binder in it. More crap about monsters I learn about. Signs I find of hunts that I should check out. What I learn. What I still need to learn._

_But I do need to write about what made me who I am in these pieces of paper before I burn it like the others. So I'll write it. When I was thirteen years old a demon tortured me and my mother as an act of revenge against my father, who had sent that demon's ass back to Hell six years before. There. It's written._

_Of course I've had other journals. Ones that I wrote all the way through, almost no space left to even doodle in the margins. Those are the ones that I'd write in 'til they were full of my terror and fear and anger and then watch as I burned it to ashes in the fireplace. Took me a while to go from flinching at the sight of a flame to appreciating the fact that it can fully destroy anything from a piece of paper to a wendigo. But my journals from now on are gonna be different. I'm twenty-one. I've learned plenty. I've spent the last ten years memorizing anything I could get my hands on to make myself feel safer._

_Mom has too. She wasn't as young as I was though, so she started _her _remedial therapy by spending a year learning as much as she could and then venting her anger on anything evil she could find. Of course she was never the same. That part's obvious. I think she might have gone off the edge if Dean hadn't given her that speech I overheard in the hospital though. He knew what he was talking about when he told her fear like that feeds on itself. Feeds on you. Cause really it does. And it's hard work not to let it consume you._

_If Sam and Dean hadn't helped us into this world, it would have been hard to get in. As it was, the fact that mom didn't even start with actual hunting for over a year annoyed a lot of the hunters. What the Hell good was Sarah Blake if she couldn't pull herself together enough to salt and burn a corpse, right? She sure showed them though. I have to say I'm proud to call her my mom at this point. Not that I was ever not. But I don't think I really understood what it meant to be proud of someone until I watched her pull herself back from that day in the basement._

_Despite what Dean said, although she had to ask neighbors to come over to go with her down to the basement when she needed to reset the breaker or get something out of storage for a few months after what happened, mom didn't seal it off with cement. She didn't even move. She sure as Hell thought about it, as I did, I remember twice that I got to tears asking her to move, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She said it felt like Mavet would win if she did. If she couldn't be strong enough to stay in the house where it happened, she wouldn't be able to move on._

_I don't know if I would have been able to do the same thing in her position. Actually I'm pretty sure I would have up and moved pronto, leaving anything in the basement for the new owners. But she wasn't like that. At least she wasn't after. Like I said, she changed. But she's still my mom. Always has been, always will be. And she never locked me out, just like Dean said she shouldn't. And I haven't used my shining since, and I don't plan to. It hasn't developed further since and I hope it doesn't. I'll do exorcisms the old fashioned way._

_Truthfully, one reason I always burn what I write about was because mom said it was a way for me to put all my bad feelings on a piece of paper and then get rid of it, but there's another reason. Sam explained to me that other hunters might not see the forest for the trees. They'd see psychic powers from demon blood and think _evil._ And that's it. So having anything about my powers written down for others to read is not a good idea._

_Dean once assured me, when I asked him the question point-blank, that despite all the shit they'd been through and all the deals they'd made that everything had come out in the wash. That when he and Sam got taken out of the battle of good vs. evil neither of them would be going downstairs. So when they went down fighting last year, I was able to rest easy._

_The world seems emptier without them though. The world of hunting. But I'm proud to call Sam Winchester my father. And though there isn't much I wouldn't do to change things, to let me and my mother go through life not knowing the evil that lurks out there, I don't hold it against Sam. What happened, I don't hold it against him. Not that I can't, not that it totally wasn't his fault, blah blah blah, but that I don't. Because the suffering that we went through, he would have taken it for us in an instant. Because he was the kind of father that people only dream about. Not the home for dinner every night, makes every soccer game, always kisses you goodnight dad. That's crap. That's easy._

_He was brave. He was smart. He was kind. He was self-sacrificing. He knew good from evil and he'd rather die than turn to evil. He helped people. He made more of a difference in this world than anyone I know. And he didn't ask for anything in return. He hunted because he felt it was right. He felt that people deserved protection from the things out there that they couldn't handle, that they shouldn't have to handle._

_Plus, how many dads do you know that would be okay with you spending the $19,200 college fund he saved over the course of your life on firearms, weapons made of pure silver, and grimoires? For some reason, when I finally got up the guts to ask him if I could put the money toward hunting equipment, he didn't get angry. He gave me this smile that seemed part sadness and regret, and yet part pride. And he told me that it was my decision and if I wanted to spend it on ammo, I should._

_So although I will always have that wish that I could have kept my innocence, that wish is currently tucked away in the back of my mind, because this is my life and this is how I've chosen to live it. This is how I fought back. The truth is, what doesn't kill you makes you weak. You have to decide to take that weakness and turn it into strength._

**END**


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